My Personal Advice

**Originally posted on my former blog (2009)

I have often received emails requesting my thoughts or opinions on a subject. I am willing to share those thoughts and opinions so long as you keep in mind that they are my thoughts and opinions and not much more. Where trauma, dissociation, and DID is concerned, I know what I know from my own experience, the experience of others I know of with the disorder, as well as the research and reading I have done in order to try to understand my own issues more. As long as you keep in mind that I am just one client,  I do not know “more than the average bear”, and am only sharing my own thoughts and opinions, I am ok with these types of questions. In fact, I really enjoy talking with my readers very much. I like hearing your thoughts and ideas as well. So definitely keep it coming.

I have had people write to me for more information about Timberlawn Mental Health Systems and their trauma/DID program. I am willing to talk with you about this as well, however I will refer you to their site for more information and suggest you contact them directly. Most people that ask me about Timberlawn have already contacted them and want to know specifically from a client’s perspective what to expect, or they have more questions that they would like answered from someone who’s been there. I am good with that. Keep in mind that I was inpatient there in February 2008 and March/April 2009, and as time goes on, though my memory may stay intact, things could change at Timberlawn without me knowing. I can only share with you what my experience was. I can make no guarantees that your experience will be like mine. Yours will be your own. Nor can I guarantee consistency of information. Things at Timberlawn will undoubtedly change overtime. What I share with you will be based upon my experience there in February 2008 and March/April 2009. Your biggest resource will be to contact Timberlawn directly. You may do so by following this link.

Contact Timberlawn (This is a link to The Colin Ross Institute where you will find information about Timberlawn as well as 2 other programs run by Dr. Colin Ross.)

The other things I am asked from time to time are my thoughts and opinions of various places/resources on the internet. Sometimes I know of the resource and other times I don’t. Some things I have found helpful; some I have not. I struggle sometimes with exactly what to say. This has been an issue for me also. I have searched the internet for resources the entire time I have been in therapy. It is natural for us to search for more information to better understand our own issues. It is also very natural for us to want to connect to others that share in this same diagnosis. DID presents a special dilemma because resources in our own communities is often scarce, and other people don’t readily come forward with their multiplicity (I’m certainly not!!!). In regards to the internet, let me just offer these words of advice. Let me also tell you, I have not been the best at always following this advice. Lots of times our search for connection and information has outweighed our better judgment. That’s just how much we need those things. I say this because I am sure I will have internet friends who will read this and know I am a hypocrite in action. So be it! It’s something I’m working on. Anyway, here is my advice concerning use of the internet for support. This is based on what I have learned and experienced over the last year and a half.

First of all, your number one best resource is usually your therapist. I say usually because, you just never know. Some people see more than one therapist before they find one that is good,  especially in the realm of DID. That being said, once you find a therapist you feel is knowledgeable with whom you  trust, then that therapist becomes your number one resource. It is your therapist that you should go to for recommendations, thoughts, opinions, etc. about a specific website. Many will be more than happy to briefly check them out if you provide them with a link/address.

I would suggest that you keep your therapist informed of the places you visit online for support (at least the ones you frequent or return to on a regular basis). Have him/her check them out.  Let your therapist know how things are going with you as you explore various places on the internet.  Many places you will find will be a great resource for you. Your therapist may want to pass the information on to other clients. Be aware that everything you read and everywhere you visit on the internet for support has some sort of effect on your therapy. The hope is that it will be a positive effect, but there are negative effects that can come about as well. Sometimes it is just a timing issue (you read about something you really weren’t ready to read about, etc.). Sometimes, let’s face it, not all sites are ones you would want to be visiting in the first place. I have had times in my therapy where things were going really well and times where things were sinking fast. Sometimes those episodes, both good and bad, were due in part from my interactions on the internet. Most concerning, of course,  are the times I have been negatively impacted because I was triggered by something I read, spent too much time on the internet reading trauma stuff, was in contact with the wrong people, found myself in a position I wasn’t ready to be in, etc. It would’ve been better for me if I had been more forthcoming with my therapist about what I was reading (both on the internet and in actual books), where I was visiting on a regular basis, and most especially if I was in contact with another therapist. My therapist wasn’t aware of the places I was visiting online, who was running those sites, how much time I was spending on them, the content of the posts I was reading, etc. so it limited her ability to help me. Many times she wondered what triggered this episode with me, what triggered that? Don’t leave your therapist wondering. He/she needs to know these things in order to best help you in times of need.

The reality is that all these things affect your therapy in some way or another, so it is just plain old good advice to let your therapist know what’s up, most especially if you are in contact with another therapist and absolutely if you are paying this therapist for any services. In that case, I would personally recommend that the two therapists consult with one another or at least meet one another via phone to ensure their philosophies match and their work with you will be complimentary. In my opinion, if you encounter someone who is reluctant to do this, move on. Actually, it is unethical for a second therapist to accept pay for services if that therapist is aware that you see another therapist and does not contact your current therapist. Yes, it is.

I encourage anyone who reads my blog regularly to let their therapists know they are reading. I encourage you to talk about anything you read here, you may share anything, etc. I talk about these things with my therapist now. I share things I find from the internet. I let her know where I go regularly. I talk about the online relationships that I have. I talk about what I write. I don’t share “everything”, but I share the important stuff. It is helpful for me to bring some of these issues to session as they often provide opportunities for growth and to discuss difficult topics, so I would just like to encourage you to do the same. It is your therapist that can give you the best guidance as far as resources on the internet…..not necessarily me. The best advice I can give you is to let your therapist know of your online resources, and have them check them out for you.

Copyright© 2010 by Lothlorien – All Rights Reserved

Comments

[Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker]

Amen to everything that you said in your post. I write my blog posts about healing from incest. I tell people that I am an expert at one thing and that is my own experiences with healing. My methods and what worked for me may or may not work for someone else.

[marj aka thriver]

And yet, ANOTHER great post. Thanks, again, for sharing with us for the carnival.